It very much feels that my vagina and I are finally getting to know each other. I am exploring the physical side of things, while I also gather medical information to learn in a more straight forward manner. Taken directly from my journal….
Tonight I tried some variations in my kegel exercises. While doing my research on the pelvic muscle I found some points that really made sense with what I am trying to do.
(1.) The suggestion that in order to make sure I am fully clenching and fully releasing, to take four deep breaths in each position. This makes for a stronger and more fully realized effort. It was difficult to do tonight. I couldn’t let my mind wander or I would feel my muscles relaxing or contracting of their own accord.
(2.) To focus on slowly clenching different parts of the muscle. Now I don’t fully understand my muscular make up down there, but I want to know more. However just to experiment I tried to clench from front to back (vagina to anus) and then the reverse.
(3.) The idea that the entrance to the vagina is often very sensitive, especially among women who have vaginismus. This confirms what I have already noticed in my own vagina: that understanding and finding comfort in the positions of the entrance is an equally important part to controlling the muscle. So tonight I still practiced parting the lips of my vagina with my fingers and one time I added a clench and relax of the muscles while holding this position. I feel good about the new elements implemented tonight and I did not experience discomfort.
I really enjoyed doing my exercises this time. I didn’t use a mirror, but instead focused on touch and the sensations. I did a similar combination to the last session, but this time I closed my eyes and really focused on my breathing to help me clench and relax. Without meaning to I slipped into a sort of trance from the meditation. The music playing in my room, probably helped with this. Either way, it was so relaxing. This is the first time I have felt that mentally and emotionally relaxed.
I noticed that at times it is difficult to relax my ab muscles when doing my exercises. My automatic response is to tighten them when I tighten my pelvic floor muscle. I also tried masturbating a bit before hand (using my clitoris) to see if that made a difference, and surprisingly it makes the muscles stay tight. As hard as I tried they just didn’t feel as relaxed after that.
I noticed new qualities, characteristics, and physical attributes of my own vagina during the past few weeks. I won’t be sharing those here, because they are something I consider very personal and do not think this knowledge helps the healing process of other women. But as always it is important to share that this is happening and how happy it has made me. Getting to know the intricacy of your own body and vagina is a journey we all could benefit from.
Reach out to me with any thoughts or questions. I am happy to listen. mailto:healingvaginismus@gmail.com
Tonight I tried some variations in my kegel exercises. While doing my research on the pelvic muscle I found some points that really made sense with what I am trying to do.
(1.) The suggestion that in order to make sure I am fully clenching and fully releasing, to take four deep breaths in each position. This makes for a stronger and more fully realized effort. It was difficult to do tonight. I couldn’t let my mind wander or I would feel my muscles relaxing or contracting of their own accord.
(2.) To focus on slowly clenching different parts of the muscle. Now I don’t fully understand my muscular make up down there, but I want to know more. However just to experiment I tried to clench from front to back (vagina to anus) and then the reverse.
(3.) The idea that the entrance to the vagina is often very sensitive, especially among women who have vaginismus. This confirms what I have already noticed in my own vagina: that understanding and finding comfort in the positions of the entrance is an equally important part to controlling the muscle. So tonight I still practiced parting the lips of my vagina with my fingers and one time I added a clench and relax of the muscles while holding this position. I feel good about the new elements implemented tonight and I did not experience discomfort.
I really enjoyed doing my exercises this time. I didn’t use a mirror, but instead focused on touch and the sensations. I did a similar combination to the last session, but this time I closed my eyes and really focused on my breathing to help me clench and relax. Without meaning to I slipped into a sort of trance from the meditation. The music playing in my room, probably helped with this. Either way, it was so relaxing. This is the first time I have felt that mentally and emotionally relaxed.
I noticed that at times it is difficult to relax my ab muscles when doing my exercises. My automatic response is to tighten them when I tighten my pelvic floor muscle. I also tried masturbating a bit before hand (using my clitoris) to see if that made a difference, and surprisingly it makes the muscles stay tight. As hard as I tried they just didn’t feel as relaxed after that.
I noticed new qualities, characteristics, and physical attributes of my own vagina during the past few weeks. I won’t be sharing those here, because they are something I consider very personal and do not think this knowledge helps the healing process of other women. But as always it is important to share that this is happening and how happy it has made me. Getting to know the intricacy of your own body and vagina is a journey we all could benefit from.
Reach out to me with any thoughts or questions. I am happy to listen. mailto:healingvaginismus@gmail.com