When I started getting my period, my mom put together a clean pair of underwear and two pads in a ziplock bag to keep in my backpack in case of an “emergency.” We referred to it as “The Kit,” and even made a label for the clear little bag. (While it seemed embarrassing at the time, I can’t say how often I’ve wished I still had The Kit for myself and my friends in need as adults. It would be used often.)
Months later a guy friend was jokingly going through my backpack in the school hallway when I wasn’t paying attention.
He pulled out the bag.
“What’s this?”
As I turned to look at what he referred to, he lifted it high in the air.
Everything froze for a moment and then I grabbed it, but not before it had dawned on him and others, what The Kit was for.
In my anger, I reprimanded him for “going through a girl’s bag,” before storming off, using that anger as a cover for what was really a feeling of humiliation.
Looking back now, I realize there was and is no reason to be embarrassed.
And yet to this day I get nervous to purchase pads and have to resist the urge to hide my items as I walk about the drug store. I know I am not the only woman who feels this way. Some women I know can’t even bring themselves to buy pads and tampons for themselves, instead they have others do it for them.
This part of our society, the shaming of the period, is a serious problem. While I don’t want to write a history of reactions to this monthly cycle, this is something that women deserve to feel more comfortable about. I should have the option to talk about and live the daily life of a body with a vagina out in the open. It should not be a secret, and the fact that we are expected to treat it as one is debilitating to the existence of our bodies. Also the fact that so many of us feed into this secretive notion is not helping the situation. It is one thing to be a private person by choice and another to be brought up in a world where openness is frowned upon.
Using my own rough math: The majority of women between the ages of about 15 and 55 get their period, or symptoms that go along with their period, for about one week of each month. So, for 40 years of our lives, we spend about 1/4 of our time dealing with having our period. This means we keep a part of our physical existence that equates to possibly 10 years of our life…..a secret! Now those are rough numbers that vary greatly for each person who has a recurring period, however the point to stress is that large chunks of life can be consumed by this bodily process.
And yet, many women feel that they must act as if their period does not exist. They feel they are not allowed to talk about it and work extra hard to cover up any evidence, to the point of dressing in ways that make them uncomfortable, hiding the products they use and covering up any odors when using the restroom, incessantly checking for leakage throughout the day, and never admitting to the symptoms they experience or asking for simple things that could make them feel better (for example, sitting down or taking an extra break when experiencing body pain at work, resting when experiencing period induced migraine or nausea, or simply skipping an extra outing or activity to take care of their bodily needs). Why must it be in hiding and therefor so complicated? Because wouldn’t it be a terrible thing for others to find out that women are bleeding out of their vaginas, something our bodies are naturally designed to do? No. It should not be terrible. Not at all. And yet many of us feel the need to whisper about borrowing products from each other when the need arises.
Some people would argue that if women want to be more open they should just toughen up and do it, but those people have little concept of the stress and anxiety that many women feel. The act of asking for one’s bodily needs can be seen as a weakness, an excuse, and even flat out wrong. Some women are able to overcome these stereotypes, but not without almost daily reminders that they are the exception. Examples include being asked if I or others are “PMSing,” references in books or on TV that are sly and burdensome, or even my father saying not to bring it up.
We are taught and act as though we have something to be ashamed of, when we don’t. We should not be embarrassed by any of our bodily functions. We are human beings, with bodies that operate in healthy ways, not whatever fake ideal of perfection that we have been taught to strive for. When we get our periods, our bodies are cleaning. They are discarding old matter in order to replenish with a new level. This is all in preparation for our bodies to give life, if ever desired by the individual. I for one am so glad that my body is smart enough to clean out my uterus once a month, as I am proud of having strong bones and muscles, eating a clean diet, and countless other pieces of evidence for a healthy existence. The body is an incredibly captivating place and taking care of it respectfully is a daily job.
Many woman, including myself have been taught at one time or another that the period is gross. Just the other day, two of my male coworkers were so disgusted by the idea of a used pad. I can’t imagine how painful it must be, as a woman to believe this about yourself, that part of your body’s existence is “gross.” I might have vaginismus and sexual anxiety, but being honest and demanding respect for my monthly cycle is one area were I proudly have learned to excel, in fact in ways I share more than I might normally in order to make a point. Carrying my pads out in the opening, explaining to others that my back hurts from standing but also from symptoms of my period, and openly sharing when my cycle is without shame are all part of my personal acceptance None of this was easy, but it was freeing.
I sometimes think how wonderful it would be if the period was welcomed and celebrated, either privately or publicly. What if instead of "Ugh, I have my period!," we could say "Hello period! Welcome back!" and then focused on eagerly taking care of ourselves as opposed to rushing to hide and constrict. It would mean a change of personal and societal opinions. It would mean having and teaching options.
In a way, all of the above has felt like a rant of frustration. Some will find it naive, unnecessary, or even...."gross." Maybe you completely disagree, but this is another one of those discussions, just like others on this blog, that needs to be had, or it will never change. I honor my body and cherish it, by giving it the treatment it needs to take care of itself. We all deserve a life led healthily and in the open if we so choose. Give yourself and others the option.
Months later a guy friend was jokingly going through my backpack in the school hallway when I wasn’t paying attention.
He pulled out the bag.
“What’s this?”
As I turned to look at what he referred to, he lifted it high in the air.
Everything froze for a moment and then I grabbed it, but not before it had dawned on him and others, what The Kit was for.
In my anger, I reprimanded him for “going through a girl’s bag,” before storming off, using that anger as a cover for what was really a feeling of humiliation.
Looking back now, I realize there was and is no reason to be embarrassed.
And yet to this day I get nervous to purchase pads and have to resist the urge to hide my items as I walk about the drug store. I know I am not the only woman who feels this way. Some women I know can’t even bring themselves to buy pads and tampons for themselves, instead they have others do it for them.
This part of our society, the shaming of the period, is a serious problem. While I don’t want to write a history of reactions to this monthly cycle, this is something that women deserve to feel more comfortable about. I should have the option to talk about and live the daily life of a body with a vagina out in the open. It should not be a secret, and the fact that we are expected to treat it as one is debilitating to the existence of our bodies. Also the fact that so many of us feed into this secretive notion is not helping the situation. It is one thing to be a private person by choice and another to be brought up in a world where openness is frowned upon.
Using my own rough math: The majority of women between the ages of about 15 and 55 get their period, or symptoms that go along with their period, for about one week of each month. So, for 40 years of our lives, we spend about 1/4 of our time dealing with having our period. This means we keep a part of our physical existence that equates to possibly 10 years of our life…..a secret! Now those are rough numbers that vary greatly for each person who has a recurring period, however the point to stress is that large chunks of life can be consumed by this bodily process.
And yet, many women feel that they must act as if their period does not exist. They feel they are not allowed to talk about it and work extra hard to cover up any evidence, to the point of dressing in ways that make them uncomfortable, hiding the products they use and covering up any odors when using the restroom, incessantly checking for leakage throughout the day, and never admitting to the symptoms they experience or asking for simple things that could make them feel better (for example, sitting down or taking an extra break when experiencing body pain at work, resting when experiencing period induced migraine or nausea, or simply skipping an extra outing or activity to take care of their bodily needs). Why must it be in hiding and therefor so complicated? Because wouldn’t it be a terrible thing for others to find out that women are bleeding out of their vaginas, something our bodies are naturally designed to do? No. It should not be terrible. Not at all. And yet many of us feel the need to whisper about borrowing products from each other when the need arises.
Some people would argue that if women want to be more open they should just toughen up and do it, but those people have little concept of the stress and anxiety that many women feel. The act of asking for one’s bodily needs can be seen as a weakness, an excuse, and even flat out wrong. Some women are able to overcome these stereotypes, but not without almost daily reminders that they are the exception. Examples include being asked if I or others are “PMSing,” references in books or on TV that are sly and burdensome, or even my father saying not to bring it up.
We are taught and act as though we have something to be ashamed of, when we don’t. We should not be embarrassed by any of our bodily functions. We are human beings, with bodies that operate in healthy ways, not whatever fake ideal of perfection that we have been taught to strive for. When we get our periods, our bodies are cleaning. They are discarding old matter in order to replenish with a new level. This is all in preparation for our bodies to give life, if ever desired by the individual. I for one am so glad that my body is smart enough to clean out my uterus once a month, as I am proud of having strong bones and muscles, eating a clean diet, and countless other pieces of evidence for a healthy existence. The body is an incredibly captivating place and taking care of it respectfully is a daily job.
Many woman, including myself have been taught at one time or another that the period is gross. Just the other day, two of my male coworkers were so disgusted by the idea of a used pad. I can’t imagine how painful it must be, as a woman to believe this about yourself, that part of your body’s existence is “gross.” I might have vaginismus and sexual anxiety, but being honest and demanding respect for my monthly cycle is one area were I proudly have learned to excel, in fact in ways I share more than I might normally in order to make a point. Carrying my pads out in the opening, explaining to others that my back hurts from standing but also from symptoms of my period, and openly sharing when my cycle is without shame are all part of my personal acceptance None of this was easy, but it was freeing.
I sometimes think how wonderful it would be if the period was welcomed and celebrated, either privately or publicly. What if instead of "Ugh, I have my period!," we could say "Hello period! Welcome back!" and then focused on eagerly taking care of ourselves as opposed to rushing to hide and constrict. It would mean a change of personal and societal opinions. It would mean having and teaching options.
In a way, all of the above has felt like a rant of frustration. Some will find it naive, unnecessary, or even...."gross." Maybe you completely disagree, but this is another one of those discussions, just like others on this blog, that needs to be had, or it will never change. I honor my body and cherish it, by giving it the treatment it needs to take care of itself. We all deserve a life led healthily and in the open if we so choose. Give yourself and others the option.