WHAT IS VAGINISMUS?
According to vaginismus.com (a resource I have found to be incredibly helpful), vaginismus is “a condition where there is involuntary tightness of the vagina during attempted intercourse. The tightness is actually caused by involuntary contractions of the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina. The woman does not directly control or 'will' the tightness to occur; it is an involuntary pelvic response. She may not even have any awareness that the muscle response is causing the tightness or penetration problem.” This last part is crucial. It is the reason that many women can go years without realizing they have vaginismus. They are often completely unaware that their body is doing something out of the ordinary. I know for many years I was afraid to look for answers to my pain because I thought it might just be “made up,” and that there would be no solution.
There are two different types of vaginismus:
Primary vaginismus is when penetration has never been possible for a woman.
Secondary vaginismus occurs when a woman has been able to have intercourse in the past, but is now unable to.
There are also different levels of intensity to vaginismus. Some women can achieve penetration, but it may be very uncomfortable; others have a complete block. Depending on the woman, this disorder may effect sexual intercourse (penis or even a finger), tampon use, gynecological examination, and/or masturbation, all in different combinations.
Like with so many disorders, no woman’s experience is the same as another’s. The individual and their personal history should always be taken into consideration with diagnosing vaginismus.
There are two different types of vaginismus:
Primary vaginismus is when penetration has never been possible for a woman.
Secondary vaginismus occurs when a woman has been able to have intercourse in the past, but is now unable to.
There are also different levels of intensity to vaginismus. Some women can achieve penetration, but it may be very uncomfortable; others have a complete block. Depending on the woman, this disorder may effect sexual intercourse (penis or even a finger), tampon use, gynecological examination, and/or masturbation, all in different combinations.
Like with so many disorders, no woman’s experience is the same as another’s. The individual and their personal history should always be taken into consideration with diagnosing vaginismus.
POSSIBLE CAUSES
Finding a cause of her vaginismus can be difficult for many women. In certain cases incident(s) of sexual abuse, a difficult birth, menopause, past discomfort during intercourse, surgery, and/or the woman being taught that sex is painful or wrong can be observed as a cause or contributing factor to developing the disorder. In other cases there is no clear reason.
A woman’s sexual and personal history can often further contribute to the intensity of her disorder. Vaginismus can and often does reinforce itself. Each time one tries to force penetration despite the pain, it gives further support to the involuntary response. To put it simply, even without her awareness, her mind and body think that they are doing what is best to protect her, because, “Look, penetration does hurt!” It is important to remember this. Though this disorder causes much physical and emotional pain and frustration, it comes from a place of protection, even if that protection is extremely misguided. That is why each woman must handle her vagina with the utmost of care, especially when trying to recover from vaginismus.
A woman’s sexual and personal history can often further contribute to the intensity of her disorder. Vaginismus can and often does reinforce itself. Each time one tries to force penetration despite the pain, it gives further support to the involuntary response. To put it simply, even without her awareness, her mind and body think that they are doing what is best to protect her, because, “Look, penetration does hurt!” It is important to remember this. Though this disorder causes much physical and emotional pain and frustration, it comes from a place of protection, even if that protection is extremely misguided. That is why each woman must handle her vagina with the utmost of care, especially when trying to recover from vaginismus.
TREATMENT OPTIONS
Having read many different studies, articles, and some personal stories, I believe that healing vaginismus depends on the severity and the individual. The majority of information out there is extremely positive. Recovery is not easy and generally won’t happen overnight, but it is something worth committing to.
I say it is always best to start out doing some research. A woman should teach herself about this disorder, as scary as this may seem. I know at first I was terrified to find out more, for fear that what I read would upset me even more, but it ended up giving me hope. It showed me the possibilities and also opened my eyes to the fact that I am not alone. So many women have encountered this disorder and while statistics of just how many never seem to agree, there is more and more information available, and the community is always growing, especially with success stories!
This is a disorder that deals both in the physical and the psychological. Because of this, a recovery plan that involves both emotional and physical therapy is extremely important. Two common physical treatments are kegel exercises (a purposeful tightening of the same muscles that are clenched involuntarily due to vaginismus) and vaginal dilators (cone-shaped inserts that teach the mind and body that penetration is not painful after all). Other physical treatments are available for more extreme cases, but for most women these simple exercises will allow her to get to a place where penetration by different objects is possible and eventually enjoyable.
It is also important to seek some sort of emotional therapy, not only to try and discover the cause for each individual, but also to help cope with the many, often intense feelings that arise from the discovery and treatment of vaginismus. Many women have had to deal with a significant amount of embarrassment, rejection, confusion, and lack of compassion, if not downright cruelty, when living with their vaginismus. These are all things that should be recognized and examined to reach a full understanding and a true state of health and happiness, for both the individual and her relationships.
This is a disorder that presents significant challenges for family, friends, and especially romantic partners. Depending on the individual, it can be helpful to include them in the healing process both directly and/or indirectly. But involvement should always be considered carefully, to make sure that is does not cause unnecessary pain or offense to either party. Overtime I have learned to whom I can turn for support and who is better off being left out of the subject partially or entirely. It can be a difficult disorder for anyone to comprehend, and while we need to promote understanding, the healing of each individual must be top priority.
I say it is always best to start out doing some research. A woman should teach herself about this disorder, as scary as this may seem. I know at first I was terrified to find out more, for fear that what I read would upset me even more, but it ended up giving me hope. It showed me the possibilities and also opened my eyes to the fact that I am not alone. So many women have encountered this disorder and while statistics of just how many never seem to agree, there is more and more information available, and the community is always growing, especially with success stories!
This is a disorder that deals both in the physical and the psychological. Because of this, a recovery plan that involves both emotional and physical therapy is extremely important. Two common physical treatments are kegel exercises (a purposeful tightening of the same muscles that are clenched involuntarily due to vaginismus) and vaginal dilators (cone-shaped inserts that teach the mind and body that penetration is not painful after all). Other physical treatments are available for more extreme cases, but for most women these simple exercises will allow her to get to a place where penetration by different objects is possible and eventually enjoyable.
It is also important to seek some sort of emotional therapy, not only to try and discover the cause for each individual, but also to help cope with the many, often intense feelings that arise from the discovery and treatment of vaginismus. Many women have had to deal with a significant amount of embarrassment, rejection, confusion, and lack of compassion, if not downright cruelty, when living with their vaginismus. These are all things that should be recognized and examined to reach a full understanding and a true state of health and happiness, for both the individual and her relationships.
This is a disorder that presents significant challenges for family, friends, and especially romantic partners. Depending on the individual, it can be helpful to include them in the healing process both directly and/or indirectly. But involvement should always be considered carefully, to make sure that is does not cause unnecessary pain or offense to either party. Overtime I have learned to whom I can turn for support and who is better off being left out of the subject partially or entirely. It can be a difficult disorder for anyone to comprehend, and while we need to promote understanding, the healing of each individual must be top priority.
This is simply a brief description of Vaginismus and some of the questions it raises. I am not a medical professional, so please use the 'Other Resources' tab for more information regarding all aspects of the disorder. Also feel free to contact me with questions; I am more than happy to point you in the appropriate direction.