ABOUT THE AUTHOR
I am a 30 year old artist based in New York City and Boston. I found out that I had primary vaginismus at age 22, a disorder I had never heard of. At that time I had never been able to have sexual intercourse, use a tampon and had a number of painful and unsuccessful trips to the gynecologist and doctor. I had been afraid that there was no explanation for the phenomenon I had experienced for most of my life. The diagnoses came as an upsetting shock, as well as a relief that with answers come solutions.
One question that still and may always remain is how I got vaginismus. I have some theories involving many possible sources, further expounded by the circumstances of my medical and sexual history. One thing I have learned is that I am curable since after months of physical therapy on my own I was able to have intercourse with my long term boyfriend a number of times. It certainly was not perfect and some times were more difficult than others, but I was well on my way to developing a vagina and mind capable of accepting and enjoying penetration, without fear or pain. For personal and emotional reasons I was not able to continue improving after our breakup and gave up my treatment all together. That is until I read an article in the Irish Times about a woman who had written to the paper for advice, saying that she had accepted that her body simply could not have sex. The paper wrote back that she had symptoms of vaginismus. I imagined how different over fifty years of her life could have been if she had simply had the resources to know of her disorder. She still may have chosen to wait until later in life to have intercourse, but every woman deserves to make that choice and know about her own body. I believe that information should be more available regarding sexual disorders. There likewise needs to be more communication in relationships, amongst the medical community, and within and between cultures about topics of sexuality for all kinds of people. This website and blog are designed for anyone to get a first hand account of what one woman’s journey of healing has and will look like. I will document my physical and emotional therapy, write on some of the beliefs surrounding the disorder, and share the stories of interactions I have along the way. Thank you for reading and for your positive energy. |
One purpose of this site is to help build a community of support for women and their loved ones affected by vaginismus. If you need guidance, advice, or just want to share an experience, please feel free to get in contact.
There are many people affected directly or indirectly by this disorder and no one should feel alone. |